Buhtt sex?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
