Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
