i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
