Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
