what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He had one of those small greek statue penises
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize