with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
