Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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