she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
