So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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