i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
