I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
