i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
