naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
