Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
