I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
