Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
