so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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