So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
