Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
