Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
