I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize