just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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