Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
