i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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