That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
