I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize