I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
