My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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