garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
