I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
