Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
