just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
