She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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