OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
