just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
