Sry I called you an 8
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
