You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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