Will you blow on my dice?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
