I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
