Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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