craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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