I think I died a long time ago.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
