So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
