are you still at the devil's house?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
