He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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