I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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