Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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