barbara walters just said penis...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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