Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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