I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
